"The Receding Waves of South Sea" - 1947
太阳从金门港口沉下后不久，在山这边的华埠已经开始转暗了。 从都板街转入冚尾慎街，经过那间经常发酸臭的屋子——那酸臭的气味在这盛夏中觉得份外刺鼻——就到那间油漆剥落的陈旧黄色屋子。
这所屋子今晚打破平时一向的寂静。 欢笑只声不绝传出，而且橙黄的灯光猛烈的向外街抛射，不时还可以望见屋内的人影移动。
今晚在这家确不是平常的。 在华埠的几个亲亲戚戚都被邀请了来吃晚饭。 本来是不甚阔大的屋子，现在看了更缩小了。 今晚一切特别的情形，都是因为欢迎一个离家将近五年的儿子。 这个年头——一九四七——人们早已忘记一场大战的经过，连壮士回家的一回事，也有点陌生了。 他确是返得迟了的。
王明是这家的独生子，虽然还有一个仅小十八个月的妹妹。 他的父母生他的时候，已经将近四十了。 晚年独子，父母当然宠爱。 而他确实是一个天真活泼伶俐的孩子。 在英文学校中的成绩几乎完全甲等，在中文学校中除了成绩为全级之冠外，并且历任该校的学生会长。 明的为人和蔼可亲，从来都不与任何人结下怨仇，邻里都以他为教子的模范。
在这夜，在这房间，归家的是他，而快乐的确是其他的人。 他的父母似乎吃得太饱，坐在厅角的沙发上，有一种心满意足的安乐态度。 他的母亲喝了两杯五加皮后，面红红的走来走去，指手划脚，好像是做大口何的戏。 吱喳的声音和五年以前没有什么分别，然而听来不得亲切, 他在强欢笑的困难情形下，确实疲倦到不能再支持了。
明回到房中来，外间墟市般的嘈声低微了，可是还隐约的可闻。 他将颇为沉重的身体抛在床上后，觉得好像卸了一个重担似的，不由叹了口气。 他一方面抵受着内心反常的痛苦，一方面又要装着愉快的笑脸，恐怕使父母失望。 濶别了五年的人少不免有点隔膜，而在此长长期间的记忆，却又很鲜明的一幅幅地重映着。 想到那不能吿人的事情时，他不觉地淌出眼泪来。
这夜他没有好好地睡过，而且他每夜都不能好好地安息。 父母都以为他为了情人在他远离国境时嫁了别人而伤心，但是他的行动愈来愈古怪。 他更少谈话，不谋事做，食睡无定时，而且半夜也还出外。 有时竟过了三时才回来，父母渐渐不能容忍这种颓废的现象，开始埋怨起来，可是事情依然没有半点变化。
妹子王英已在加大看护科毕业了，现在在某医院中当看护。 她对于哥哥的行动，也和其他的人一样莫名其妙，但是她知道哥哥的痛苦断不会是普通人所能想到的。 好几次她想发问，却又因为没有机会或没有勇气而失败。 这是感恩节的前夕，恰好只有他们两人在家。
"明哥，我想和你谈谈，” 英装着随便的态度。 “英妹，我知道你想要追问的了，我认为你还是不知道的好。 反正我 。 。 。 。 。” 明又情绪化起来，把身转离了英的视线。
“你直说吧，倒使我容易说到本题来了，” 英的语气很慎重。 她们自始至终都是以英文交谈的。
明的思想很混乱，他和自己的秘密挣扎着。 英继续鼓励他，他觉得这长成了的妹妹，就算不能了解他，至少也会同情他。 于是他就无伦次地吐出心中的痛苦，把五年前在南海岛屿上的情形说出来，并且说明回来迟了一年的原由。
英接受了这前未预料到的痛苦，眼泪沿着面颊下流。 除了时钟的沉重脚步声，一切是死般沉寂。
“我已想过千篇了。 我也知道父母年老，我也想大家过点快乐的日子，但是每当时钟叩着我底生命的丧钟的时候，我的理智和感情就立刻分家了。 我不能自己，这是我最大的痛苦。 过去造成今日的状况，我现在悔恨不该回来。 我所余的生命还有什么意义呢？ 人之有快乐，完全是因为不知道自己的将来。”
人们从亲友那里获得一场热泪之后，总会变成一个道义者，浪子就在这个时候回头。
出乎一切意料之外，这家过了一个愉快的感恩节。 王明已经恢复常态了。 父母不知道是什么奇蹟，但也无暇去追究， 母亲已不能自制地作家姑梦。 只有英一个人知道是不会长久的，然而这到底是快乐，就算是片刻的快乐也还是快乐。
感恩节过后，圣诞活像乘着飞弹而至，但是快乐的梦在这家庭中又成了泡影，妇人的诅咒声又随着时日而增了。 圣诞节下了雨，这家的晚餐的气氛有点燃烧着炸弹的火引，令人很不舒服。
突然王明中途推桌而起，匆匆地出了门。 母亲在后面呼叫着大雨，但是王明的思想已进入了另一个世界去了。
王明湿淋淋地回来埋头就睡，连宽衣也忘记了。 这夜他睡到失了知觉。 醒来已是第二天的下午。 他张开眼来，觉得有点昏晕，额头像个火炉。 是的，王明病了。
除夕在金门总是雨天。 这夜只剩下病未完全复元的王明。 他早已起床了。 都板街欢呼的声音隐约可闻，一年看又快过了，这声音把他逐到另一个世界去。 他在房中来回慢步，希望可以解除心中的烦闷。 然而这狭小的房间似乎收缩起来，他不能再抵受墙壁的压力，于是走出街外来。 雨水洒在他的头上，倒使他觉得舒服了许多。
十日后，这家不时传出微弱的鸣咽声，王明的尸体已经埋葬了。 母亲为了自己的损失而诅咒，埋怨王明应该听从她的说话而留在家中，就不致于死。
“不！ 。 。 。 。 。” 英的叫声带来片时的恐怖。 她不能再继续说下去了。 她不愿告诉王明回家的时候就自己知道快要死的。 她不愿意使别人知道，王明在南海的岛屿上做工程师，浸在热带的水中太久，得了不治之症。 腰部曾经施过手术。 战后两年还躺在医院中，到出院的时候，医生曾经肯定地告诉他，还只有六个月至一年的生命。 这些事就只有让它和他的尸身一同埋葬去， 别人是不会明白的。 他不再需要人的同情了，他不过是时代牺牲中小小的一个吧。
“明，” 王英痛苦地叫了一声。
这是人间为王明最后的一次呼声。
Wong Ming is the only son of this family, but there is also his sister eighteen months younger. When he was born his parents were already nearly forty. The parents having the son at an older age would naturally dote on this single son. He is, indeed, an innocent and energetic child. His grades in English school are almost all A’s, and in Chinese school, besides being number one in the class, he was selected in consecutive years as the president of the school’s student body. Ming is amiable, and he never has enmity with anybody. All his neighbors consider him a model son for teaching children.
On this night, in this room, he is the one returning home, but certainly happiness belongs to other people. His father seems to have eaten too full, sitting on a sofa in the corner of the room with a peaceful expression of complete satisfaction. His mother after drinking two glasses of “Ng Ga Pei” is pacing back and forth with a bright red face and making hand gestures like acting in the comic series of Big Mouth Ho. Her squeaking voice is just like five years ago, but he doesn’t find it affectionate. Having to feign a joyful laughter in his difficult situation, he is really tired and unable to hold himself up any longer.
Ming returns to his room. Like a marketplace the noisy sound from outside has subsided, but it still could be faintly heard. He throws his fairly heavy body on the bed, feeling like he has unloaded a heavy weight. He couldn’t help letting out a sigh. On the one hand he has to endure the abnormal pain in his heart, and on the other hand he has to feign a happy smiling face, being afraid of disappointing his parents. People having been separated for five years can’t avoid feeling somewhat estranged, but the memory during this long duration is like a film clearly reshowing scene after scene. Thinking of that matter that cannot be divulged, he sheds his tears unknowingly.
He could not sleep well tonight, and he has not been able to rest every night. His parents thought that he was sad because his lover married someone while he was far away from the country. But his behaviors are becoming more peculiar by the day. He talks less, doesn’t look for work, eats and sleeps at irregular times, and sometimes he stays out until three at night. His parents gradually are unable to tolerate this kind of dispirited behavior, and they begin to complain. But still nothing has changed.
His sister Wong Ying majoring in nursing has graduated from UC Berkeley, and is now a nurse in a hospital. She is just like other people feeling perplexed about her brother’s behavior, but she knows her brother’s pain is certainly not what a common person could imagine. She tried many times to ask, but failed each time due to either a lack of opportunity or courage. On the night before Thanksgiving, it happens that there are just the two of them at home.
“Brother Ming, I’d like to talk with you,” Ying feigns in a casual manner.
“Sister Ying, I know what you want to ask, but I think it is better that you don’t know. In any case ….” Becoming emotional again, Ming turns away from her eyesight.
“Why don’t you speak your mind directly. It would be easier for me to get to the main matter.” Ying’s voice is very prudent. They are conversing entirely in English.
Ming’s thoughts are very convoluted, as he struggles against his own secret. As Ying continues to encourage him, he feels even if his grown-up sister can’t understand him, she would at least sympathize with him. So he disorderly spills out the pain in his heart, telling her his situation on South Sea Island in the past five years and the reason he was late coming home for a year.
As Ying takes in the unexpected pain, her tears roll down along her face. All is dead quiet except the sound of the heavy footsteps of the clock.
“I have thought about it over a thousand times, and I am also aware of our parents’ old age. I too want everyone to live happily. But whenever I hear the clock striking the mourning timer of my life, my intellect and my emotions would instantly split. I can not be myself and that is my greatest pain. The past created my present predicament, and I regret I shouldn’t have come home. What meaning is left in the remainder of my life? A person’s happiness comes from not knowing one’s future.”
When people receive warm tears from relatives and friends, they always become the right and honored ones. It is at this time that prodigal sons return home.
Beyond all expectations, this family had a pleasant Thanksgiving. Wong Ming has recovered his normal self. His parents didn’t know what kind of miracle caused the change, but they are too busy to investigate. His mother can’t control herself in starting to dream of becoming a mother-in-law. Only Ying knows it won’t last, but this is happiness nevertheless, even just for a moment, happiness is still happiness.
Like riding on a rocket, Christmas arrives right after Thanksgiving. The dream of happiness in this family has again become a bubble, and the moaning of the woman increases by the day. It is raining on Christmas day, and the mood of the dinner in this family is like a lit fuse, making everyone very uncomfortable.
Wong Ming suddenly pushes out from the table, stands up and rushes out of the door. His mother from behind is yelling that there is heavy rain outside. But Wong Ming’s thought has already gone to another world.
Wong Ming returns home dripping wet and immediately dropping in bed to sleep, forgetting to take off his clothing. He sleeps till he loses his consciousness and wakes up in the afternoon the following day. He opens his eyes and feels a little dizzy; his forehead feels like a stove. Yes, Wong Ming is sick.
It always rains on New Year’s eve in Golden Gate. Ming has not recovered from illness and he is the only one left at home tonight. He has been up earlier. He can hear the faint cheering on Grand Avenue. The year is quickly coming to pass, and this sound brings him back to another world. He slowly strolls back and forth in the room, hoping to remove the depressed feeling in his heart. But this small room seems to be shrinking; he can’t resist the pressure from the walls, so he runs out to the street. The rain showering on his head is rather making him feel much better.
Ten days later, sounds of weak sobbing are frequently heard from this family. The body of Wong Ming has been buried. His mother is moaning for her loss, lamenting that Wong Ming should have listened to her and stayed home and he would not die.
“No! . . . . ” Ying’s outcry brings on a moment of terror. She is unable to continue, as she doesn’t want to tell that when Wong Ming returned home he knew he was going to die soon. He didn’t want others to know he was an engineer in the South Sea Island and had to be soaked in the tropic water for too long and suffered an incurable disease. He had surgery on his back hip and was still lying in the hospital two years after the war ended. When he left the hospital, the doctor had informed him with certainty that he had only six months to a year of life. These kinds of matters can only be buried with his corpse, as others could not understand. Now he no longer needs sympathy from others. He is just an insignificant one among many who were sacrificed in this era.
“Ming!” Wong Ying calls out in pain.
This is the last cry the world has for Wong Ming.