James Poy Wong 黃培正
"I am an advocate of supreme love, but I would not defend love because it is a natural thing, a human innocence. Those who are willing to taste love and feel the ultimate joy would also be willing to tolerate the utmost pain of love without complaint."
"Marriange, Sex and Love"
结婚，性交和恋爱
六月是结婚的月份。 这不完全是人们定下来习俗，同时也受着天然的影响。 寒冬过后，万象回春，性的机能在这个时期也特别发达，青年人很容易就不能自制，于是六月结婚就成为不能避免的事了。 其他许多自称为相爱的男女，也早早计画在六月结婚。 这当然是以热闹为主旨，其实六月结婚也是一年中最适合的月份，一来蜜月的环境优裕，二来适合制造国民。
我并非有意指控任何男女在婚前都干了不可吿人的事， （其实这是青年开口闭口不离题的三字经）。 不过华埠难找处女是一件公认的事。至于处男就更不必提了。 性的机能和食的机能同是人的天性，也是同样的重要，绝对不是一件可耻的事，不能人道才是一件可耻的事。 所以问题不在你有没有破了谁的处女膜，而在交合的形式。 我认为性能的升华，将全副精力置于事业，也是泄欲的一种方法）。 华埠畸形的性活动 （星期六晚打开鸡笼后的大帮野鸡就是证据），是一个很严重的社会问题，而且似乎更坏地发展下去。
现在回来说说那些有福气的婚姻吧。 华埠的人士，无论有钱与否，对于结婚的仪式，总喜欢大事铺张，其形式不论中西都是一样的。 在旧式的摆酒，多是父母撑面子的把戏。结婚的男女，有些宁愿父母将这笔钱给他们买一架新车，或是买一所房子。 西式的大婚礼，对新娘的意义比对什么人都要大，这当然也是女子的虚荣的心理，但是几乎没有一个女子不是这样的。 倘若她在这方面有遗憾，她是一生不能遗忘的。
我有一个朋友对于什么婚礼都称为 “性交大典礼” 的。 照一般人的观念，性交和婚姻几乎是同一件事，性交的重要是不能抹煞的。但是人人对新婚夫妇的恭祝，都是不切实际，没有意义，也听得厌了的话。为什么人们不坦白地恭祝新婚夫妇性交快乐。 你以为性交快乐是一件当然的事吗？ 那么你错了。 有些夫妇结婚一年后，才开始感觉性的兴趣的。 能够初次性交而感觉乐趣的，实在无几。 美国每年离婚案中最多的理由是性交的不满足。
有一位女子告诉我，一个女子选择丈夫的时候，除了有安全的保障之外，还有两个基本的条件。 第一要找一个比自己大十年的男子，第二千万不可与相爱的人结婚。 她认为爱是一件痛苦的事，结婚是一件合伙的事。 这种理论对那些恋爱至上者，是致命的打击。 其实果真尝过恋爱的人，都知道爱的痛苦是不能用言语或文字表现的。
真正相爱的男女在世间没有多人，而历史自来就不怜悯这些男女。 他们的痛苦是无可比拟的，但是他们的快乐也是无可比拟。我是一个恋爱至上主义者，我不为恋爱辩护，因为恋爱是自然的事，是人的天真，愿意试尝恋爱而觉得极乐的人，也愿意接受恋爱的极苦而无怨尤。 对于那些不能享受此种极苦与极乐的人，解释是无用的。
人们关于性的程序的理想，本来是先恋爱，然后结婚，再然后性交的。 但是因天然与人为的阻扰，能够经历这三个过程已经是一件绝难的事了，更谈不上满足和快乐。 既然三者不能同时兼有，我的口号是恋爱第一，性交第二，结婚第三。
六月是结婚的月份。 人们以为婚姻就是指恋爱和性交的满足，其实是三件不同的事的。
Marriage, Sex and Love
June is the month for weddings. It is not entirely a custom established by people, as it is also being dictated by nature. As the cold winter has passed and spring has revived every being on earth, sexual function is especially active in this period. Young people would easily lose self control, thus weddings in June become unavoidable events. The couples who claim to be in love have also planned early to marry in June. Naturally, looking for excitement is the main objective, but marrying in June is also the most suitable time of the year. The conditions of a honeymoon are favorable in the first place, and secondly, it is the appropriate time to procreate citizens.
I don’t intentionally accuse any couple who have done something not to be divulged before marriage. (Actually this is the three letter word often attached to their speech and thought these days.) However, it is common knowledge that female virgins are hard to find in Chinatown, not to mention male virgins. Both functions of food consumption and copulation are human nature, and they are equally important and absolutely not a ashamful matter. Inability of sexual consummation is a shameful matter, on the contrary. Therefore, the question is not one of whose hymen you have torn, but the ways of your carnal communion. (I regard the way to sexual sublimation is by devoting all your energy into your enterprise as a method of sexual relief.) The anomalous sexual activity in Chinatown, (as evidenced by the presence of flocks of streetwalkers on Saturday nights) is a serious social problem. And it seems to be continuing in the worst direction.
Let us return to discuss those fortunate marriages. The personage in Chinatown - regardless of the rich or poor - are always inclined to have extravagant ceremonies. It is the same whether they decide on the Chinese or Western styles. The old style of a large banquet is mostly a show for the parents to maintain their honor. Some couples rather have their parents take this sum of money to buy them a new car or a house. In the Western style, the ceremony means more to the bride than anyone else. This is no doubt due to one’s pursuit of vanity, but there doesn't seem to be a lady who is not so. If she has regrets about the wedding ceremony, she will never forget it for the rest of her life. A friend of mine calls any type of wedding ceremony “the ceremony of sexual intercourse.” To most people sexual intercourse and marriage is almost the same thing, as the importance of sexual intercourse cannot be denied. Yet people’s congratulations to the newlyweds are impractical, meaningless, and obnoxious old sayings. Why don’t people just frankly congratulate them for joyful sexual intercourse? Do you think achieving joyful intercourse is a definite matter? Then you are wrong. Some couples only begin to have interest in sex after being married for a year. There are not many people who feel pleasure in their first sexual intercourse. Every year, sexual dissatisfaction is the most stated reason for divorce in America.
A woman had told me when a lady chooses a husband, besides the reason of security there are two basic conditions. First, one should look for a husband who is ten years older, and second, absolutely don’t marry someone one loves. She believes love is a painful matter and marriage is a partnership. This kind of theory is a death blow to those who regard love as supreme. In fact, those who have really tasted love all know the pain of love is inexpressible by spoken or written words.
There are not many real lovers in this world, and since the beginning history has had no mercy for lovers. Their pains are incomparable, but their joys are also incomparable. I am an advocate of supreme love, but I would not defend love because it is a natural thing, a human innocence. Those who are willing to taste love and feel the ultimate joy would also be willing to tolerate the utmost pain of love without complaint. As to those who are unable to enjoy this kind of pain and joy, any explanation is useless.
The ideal procedure for sex should be love first, then marriage, and finally sexual intercourse. But due to obstructions from nature and human behavior, it is already extremely difficult to go through this order, let alone to obtain satisfaction and happiness. Therefore, since it is impossible to have all three, I would advocate for having love first, sexual intercourse second, and marriage third.
June is the month for weddings. People think marriage is the satisfaction of love and sexual intercourse, but actually they are three different matters.