James Poy Wong 黃培正
"In the silence of the dark night we hear the calling of the familiar voices, see the stars in our memory, and feel the immense warmth. Who are the ones giving us these senses of comfort, warmth, and delight? I can’t find a single giver, but just masses of memories and many familiar faces."
"Kindness" - 1946
恩惠
如果世间有恩惠一物发售，我会毫不客气地购买。 如果爱是一件拿得起来的东西，我会双手交给那些需要爱和应得爱的人。 因为朋友在无意中给我以无限的恩惠，使我接受了之后而心中不安，在坦白的相处下，我却能够生活在爱中。 这爱不是狭义的恋爱，而是广义的大爱。 可是爱和恩惠，偏偏不能购买，无法抓拿，然而却存在，毫无异议地存在。
报恩的唯一方法就是对别人施恩，如果朋友赠我一件礼物，我也回敬一件礼物，可是意思却不同了。 勿论我的破费如何，怎样名贵，到底不能抵得上给我的礼物的价值。 这价值绝不是金钱的问题，而是那点给与的存心。 人在给与或施赠的时候，断不会想到对方的回报 （不应该这样想），实质的物体已经如此，更何况是精神的爱和恩惠呢！
说得更明显一点，在我们求学的期间， 曾经受过多少先生的教益，难道这些先生们也希望我们的回报吗？怎样回报呢？ 事实上，我们没有遗忘师长的又有几人？ 大学教授，因为时间较近，或许还有一个印象。 然而最深刻的莫如小学教师，可是只记得什么陆先生杨先生，连名字早已忘记了。 至于中学的先生，就更加模糊。 而我们所得的，却要给与社会，给与别人，不是交回我们的先生。
儿女回报父母教养的恩惠，不是买一两磅火肉来给他们吃就可以做到的。 无论我们供给怎样大的享受，也不能偿还父母的慈爱和用心，除非我们把这爱扩张到自己的儿女中去。
我曾在俄罗斯河畔渡过一个周末，同行的一伙人，事前我大半是不认识的， 间接地我被邀请去相会这些陌生的人。 他们在那气候宜人的地方，租了一间细小的木屋。我们一共十一个男女就居住在内面，地方固然是窄小，可是情感却广大。 一次的会面后，我们已如此坦白，犹如一个大家庭中的兄弟姐妹一样，没有疑忌，没有憎恨，在和谐的共欢中，我们表露出真诚的友爱。
好的时光永不愿停留，我恋恋不舍地向各人分手， “再会吧， 朋友！” 我的声音有点悽热。
“大埠再见了，” 他们都这么说，漠不关心地，他们不知道以后的情形有何改变。
是的，在都市中相处的时候，我们都戴着面具，都暗暗地拿这刀枪，都以为别人有的是心肠，怎能有那坦白的热情和诚意的关心呢！ 我们这次偶然认识，称呼着名字，到现在我还不知道他们姓什么，在哪里居住，干什么，可是却愿意坦白地相处。 我们人人几乎都有这种经验，然而我们日常的相处却不愿这样，偏要拉着狰狞的面孔和不信任的心意。 为什么？
我们的一生中，遇过许多可亲的人和许多可爱的情境。 这些美丽的印象留在我们的记忆，但不一个个清楚地列在我们的面前，而仅为一团愉快的感觉。 在陌生的人中， 我们看到熟悉的面庞，在寒冷的人情中，我们觉得心中涌起友爱的火，渐渐把那不如意的烧焦个干净。 这样我们有勇气踏上人生的前程，而且敢继续走下去。 这样在黑夜的寂静中，我们听到了熟悉的声音在呼唤，看到记忆中的繁星，也感觉到无限的温暖。 这些安慰，温暖，和愉快的感觉，是谁给我们的呢？ 我们找不出一个给与的人，而只是一堆堆的记忆，和许多熟悉的面孔。
我们有着受恩不安的感觉，然而又无法向谁回报，因为我们对别人给与的恩惠，是无法回报的，要想报恩祗有把自己的恩惠施给别人。
Kindness
If kindness is an entity available for sale in this world, I would buy it without any modesty. If love is an object that can be held, I would with both hands give it to those who need love and should have love. It is because friends had unintentionally given me immense kindness, which makes me uncomfortable in my heart upon receiving it, yet I am therefore able to live with love from our sincere companionship. This love is not the parochial meaning of romantic love, but the broader meaning of great love. However, love and kindness are emphatically not for sale and unable to be caught and held. Yet they exist, without question they exist.
The only way to repay kindness is to practice kindness to others. If a friend gives me a gift and I will reciprocate a gift, the meaning is thus not the same. No matter how much I spent or how precious my gift is, it cannot afterall match up to the value of the gift I received. This value is not a matter of money, but it is about the intention of the giving. When people give or bestow they never think of reciprocation (should not think this way.) It is so in material things, let alone the spiritual love and kindness!
Speaking more conspicuously, during the time of my schooling I have received many benefits from my teachers. Do you think these teachers expect me to repay them? And how to repay? In fact, how many of us have not forgotten our teachers? As for professors, because college was relatively recent, we may still have some impressions, but the most profound ones are no other than the grade school teachers. But we only remember them as Mr. Lu or Mr. Yang, and we have long forgotten their names. As for the teachers in the middle school, it is even more vague. But what we obtained is to give to society, to other people, and it is not to return to our teachers.
For the sons’ and daughters’ repayment of the kindness of their parents for nurturing and educating them, it is not enough just to buy two pounds of roasted pork for them. No matter how much enjoyment we provide them, it cannot repay their affectionate love and diligent attentiveness, unless we take this love and extend it to our children.
I spent a weekend at the Russian River. I did not know most of the people who went together beforehand. I was indirectly invited to meet with these strangers. They rented a cabin in this place where the climate was pleasant. There were eleven of us, men and women, staying inside. The space was definitely small, but the feeling was immense. In just one meeting we became very frank with each other, just like brothers and sisters in a family. Without doubt and envy, without hatred, we showed our genuine friendly affection in a harmonious, joyful gathering.
Good time is never willing to stay put. I reluctantly parted with everyone, “We will meet again, my friends.” My voice sounded a bit sad.
“See you in San Francisco!” They all said so nonchalantly, not knowing what will change in the future situation.
Yes, we all wear a mask when we are living in the metropolitan, secretly carrying a knife and gun and always seeing others with such ulterior motives. Then how could we have earnest enthusiasm and sincere caring! This time we knew each other by chance; we addressed each other’s names. Until now I don’t even know their surnames, where they live, or what they do for a living. Yet we wanted to get along with earnestness. We all have such an experience, but we are unwilling to get along with others on a regular basis. On the contrary, we display our ferocious faces and distrustful thoughts. Why?
In our lifetime we encounter many amiable people and many lovable situations. These beautiful impressions remain in our memory, but not all clearly appear in front of us. Rather, as a whole it just conveys a sense of pleasant feeling. It enables us to see familiar faces among strangers, and to feel the outpouring of passionate friendship from our hearts amidst the coldness of human relationship. Gradually we burn off all the disappointment. Thereby we have the courage to embark on the journey of life, and dare to continue the journey. In the silence of the dark night we hear the calling of the familiar voices, see the stars in our memory, and feel the immense warmth. Who are the ones giving us these senses of comfort, warmth, and delight? I can’t find a single giver, but just masses of memories and many familiar faces. We are uncomfortable with the feeling of receiving kindness, yet unable to repay anyone because we cannot repay the kindness given by others. If we want to repay kindness, we can only give our kindness to others.