James Poy Wong 黃培正

"Children not knowing death imitate the adults in taking war as a playing game, and the poison has taken its root. When they grow up, what was made-belief would have become reality, and they engage in what would lead themselves and others to bloodshed."

"Holiday in Chinatown" - 1946

冷浴

从家门走出来，太阳已挂在水平线上六十度角的位置。 我的第一个感觉是今天的天气十分宜人。 穿过华埠中心的都板街，两旁的商店十九都关上门 —— 都板街改了名称的时候，恐怕我还未出世，现今我们依然称它为都板街。 我们除了别人的恩惠外，甚少把过去的事情或制度遗忘，所以常常可以荣耀地自称为 “古老” 的国家。 如果把都板街作一个鸟瞰，形象是一个瓶，因为瓶上的酒巴多，或者可以叫做酒瓶。 这瓶由步斯街以上是窄的，故此像瓶的颈，华埠就在这瓶颈上—— 美国的哩语称迟缓的,阻碍进行的人或事为瓶颈。

街上往来的人以西人居多，站在两旁的以华人居多。 绿眼红发的人中，由十岁至十六岁的特别多，在杂货舖的门前，带着神秘的眼光眺望。 华人穿着黑色不平直的西装，上面有点污点，白色的衬衣露出颈上突出的喉核，几乎个个都戴顶帽子. 也有全副唐装的，拖着薄底布面的黑鞋，只可惜头上有顶鸭嘴的西装扁帽。

因为是 “大日子”，西人特意跑来观光那家家关门，户户停市的华埠。 华人也有些愿意离开了麻将台，驶车或放车或用车 （随盛乡方便） 去作太阳浴，游埠仔，或是找 。。。。这种种的转变就是生命的转变。 有人曾经用血，用呼吸，用温度去定生命的定义。 在血流尽的时候，我们也无法活着，所以有人说生命就是血，或是呼吸，或是温度。 但是我们自己的影子，何尝不能代表生命呢？ 我们卧下的时候，影子消失，当太阳爬上头顶上的时候，我们的影子渐渐缩小， 这时我们也渐渐懒起来，不想移动。 我总以为生命就是活动和转变，个人也罢, 国家也罢，死沉沉的， 总有点害怕人。 你知道吗？ 越弱的国家，转变也越少。

这一天美国满了一百七十岁，生出一个新的婴孩—— 菲律宾。 美国人描写自己是年老的三伯，在我看来是一个刚进大学的青年。 菲律宾的出世到底是别人的喜事，我们对它无甚爱恶。 世界上的事够头痛，多来一个大概也不会成为问题的。 人人都喜欢独立，但是独立要负许多责任。 以个人来说，如果个个独了立， 不负责任，那么社会就更难维持。 法律是这样奇怪的东西，一方面约束了人的自由， 同时也是保障自由。 而且法律不一定是真理，因为真理是不变的，法律却常常改变，故此给法律无辜地致命的人，也自不会少的。 然而法律是不是可以消灭？ 这问题我曾经想过，可是找不出答案来，因为法律不像自然的定律，法律管制的是人，人是不能成为机械论者的机器的，这问题还是不能解决。

我听到轧轧的电车声，感到适然的感觉，像大便畅通似的。 不要把我误会，我并不是都市的歌颂者。 然而走了四天的长路程，我不能不赞誉科学带来的方便。 我们平常的生活中，很少有机会静默地沉思，把能够享受到的追想一下，所以有时来一个不方便，倒使我们有个思想的机会。

我们在一个国家中得着较合理的工金，可是从未想过国家何来？ 工金何来？ 如果我们懂得去祈祷 （注意： 不含宗教性质的），我们的生命，会产生更多有意思的建树。

街上响着零星的爆竹声，像攻城后的散乱枪声。世上所有的动物，听到这种声音都产生危险的恐怖，祗有人类才喜欢玩弄。 幼时因为不知道什么是死亡，学着成年人所干的，把战争作游戏，受了毒根。 年纪长大时就弄假成真，干到别人和自己都流出血来，而且要千千万万的人跟着自己流血。 我想： 孩子本来是怕竹砲的。

Holiday in Chinatown

When I come out of my house, the sun is already hanging at 60 degrees on the horizon. My initial feeling is that today's weather is a very pleasant day. Walking through DuPont Street in the heart of Chinatown, I saw 90% of stores on both sides are closed. I am afraid I wasn’t even born when the street name Du Pont was changed, but we still call it DuPont Street. Other than the favors given by others, we seldom forget past events and systems, so we can often proudly regard ours an “ancient” country. If we take a birdeye’s view of DuPont Street, it has an image of a bottle; and because the bottle has many bars on it, we can call it a wine bottle. This bottle from Bush Street onward is narrow, like the neck of the bottle, and Chinatown is right on this bottle neck — according to American colloquial expression, a bottleneck is a person or event that moves slowly and impedes progress.

There are mostly westerners coming and going on the street, and there are more Chinese people standing on the two sides. Among those red-haired and green-eyed are mostly between ten and sixteen years of age. They stand in front of grocery stores with a mysterious look in their eyes. The Chinese are wearing black, wrinkle suits with some dirty spots. Their throats are revealed from the neckline of their white shirts. Almost everyone is wearing a hat. There are also some in full Chinese clothing, dragging along with thin, cotton black shoes. Too bad they have on their heads western caps with duck-tongue.

Because it is a “Big Day,” Westerners specially visit Chinatown that has every door shut and every store closed. There are some Chinese who are willing to leave the mah jong table and drive a car or release a car or use a car (select your own native usage)¹ to go sunbathing, visit small towns, or look for . . . . All these kinds of changes are the changes in life. Some people have gone through the experience of taking blood, breathing, or body temperature to establish the meaning of life. When all the blood runs out, we have no way to live on, so some people say blood, breathing, or body temperature is life itself. But why do our own shadows cannot represent life? When we lie down the shadows disappear. When the sun climbs up to the top of our heads our shadows gradually shrink. At this moment, we too have gradually become lazy and don't want to move. I always consider life to be moving and changing, as it applies to the individual as well as to the nation. Deadly stillness is always a bit scary. Do you know the weaker the nation the less it changes?

This very day America reaches 170 years old and it gives birth to a new baby — The Philippines. Americans describe themselves as an old Uncle Sam, but to me he is just a young college freshman. The birth of the Philippines is afterall somebody’s happy event and we don’t particularly like or dislike it. There are enough headaches in the world, so adding one more probably won’t be a problem. Everyone likes independence, but being independent entails many responsibilities. Speaking on behalf of the individual, if each and every one becomes independent but will not be responsible, the society will be even harder to maintain. Law is such an odd thing: on the one hand it restrains human freedom, it also safeguards freedom at the same time. Moreover, law is not necessarily the truth because truth does not change, while law changes all the time. Therefore, naturally there won’t be just a few innocent people who were put to death by laws. Yet, can the laws be eliminated? I have thought of this question, but I can’t find an answer because laws are not like the order of nature. Laws govern human beings, and human beings cannot become the machineries within the mechanism theory. This problem remains unsolved.

I hear the rolling sound of the electric streetcar and feel a sense of comfort, like having a smooth bowel movement. But don’t you misunderstand me, for I am not an idolizer of the urban city. After walking on the long road for four days, however, I cannot refrain from praising the convenience brought by science. In our daily lives we don’t have much opportunity to quietly contemplate and recall what we have been enjoying. So when there is some inconvenience coming along, it gives us a chance to do some thinking.

In a country from which we could obtain more reasonable wages, we have yet to ponder how the country or the wages come about? If we have learned to pray, (note: not in terms of religious nature) our life would have generated more meaningful accomplishments.

There are sparing sounds of firecrackers on the street, like the scattered gun firing sounds after a city is captured. All animals in the world would feel endangered upon hearing these sounds, while only humans like to play with firecrackers. Children not knowing death imitate the adults in taking war as a playing game, and the poison has taken its root. When they grow up, what was made-belief would have become reality, and they engage in what would lead themselves and others to bloodshed. Moreso, tens of thousands will follow them in such blood-shedding. I believe: children are originally afraid of firecrackers.