James Poy Wong 黃培正
"If one is living only for oneself, then there is no difference in having lived or not having lived. Life often comes out from the place of death."
"After the Bloody Corpse Is Buried"
血尸埋葬了之后
从来没有人认为死是可怕的，只有无聊地活着想到死才可怕。 死并不是可怕的，死的形状才会使人战栗。 同时，死本身也不是悲哀，只有带来的别离感觉，才是真正的悲哀，或甚而至痛苦。
我们华侨并不是在黄金环境中骄生出来的。 我不否认现在的生活确实比祖国大多数的同胞优裕，然而我们不是天之骄子，上帝没有在我们降生下来就无条件地赐给我们这块别人看起来的 “乐园”。
百多年来我们有一部非人的血泪史。 我们大多数都可以将自己生命史写出比嚣俄写得更冷酷的 “悲惨世界”。 然而我们是沉默的一伙，我们不怨命苦，我们不向天诉尤，我们的眼泪只向肚里流。在别人来这块处女地挖金的时候，我们却是为了浣洗别人的污秽衣服而来的。
在今日进入转变时代以前，我们每一个海外的流浪汉，都有着一个共同的梦想，希望十年八年的刻苦耐劳，积蓄三二千块钱，就可以回到祖国的怀抱去。 所以在我们吃件大点的咸鱼的时就算 “吃起” 了。 所以我们要手卷着烟碎来过瘾，节制性欲，层叠而居，永远穿着那件看来快要溶化的衣服。
在以前，我们所恋念的地方——家—— 还在遥远的祖国。 我们忍辱，寂寞，惨淡地长大而至老，死亡。 所以用青春换来的金钱，都用到祖国去，留下来给自己的有什么？ 我们知道家书的意义，不外是 “要人和要钱” 罢了。
这是我们生下来的命运。 我们从不计较自己的损失而怠慢下来。 “要人和要钱” 都不要紧，要家人平安就是福了。
可是谁会想到自己无力抵抗的年老骨肉，会在强暴的手上握死呢！ （参看上期所载的李小薇一文）。
在这个时代中，死原是一件极为平凡的事。 但是除非我们肯承认回到弱肉强食的野蛮生活去，否则我们就不能让这种杀人的勾当发生。 社会的形成是为了全体的安全保障，我们既把生命交托法律，却又在不能抵抗下给人宰割。 那么要法律来做什么？
一个月前广州市旺盛的昌兴街，在白昼发生了残酷的命案后，至今仍无头绪。 对于主持正义的法律手续，仍不见有何进展。 这件案会在血尸埋葬了之后就算了吗？
不能，凶手不独夺了一个老年妇人的生命，因为在血尸埋葬了之后还发生了几件事，给未死的人带来许多悲哀和痛苦。 在我看来，生的苦痛比死还要残忍万倍。
死者的孙女是我的朋友。我们虽然未成知己，但曾经有过一次的长谈，她给我的印象是活泼，热情，有责任心，抱着学生时代的助人理想，对于祖国的观念浓厚，可能成为一个为人羣谋幸福的牺牲者。 我们谈得最投契的是戏剧，因为她和我都有点“戏剧狂”。
我常常怀着一个观念： 相信热心戏剧的人的人生总是苦痛的。 幸运的人对于别人的悲哀是隔膜的。 在广州市的血案发生之后，我最清楚地记得她所说过的话是： “我断想不到这样的事情会落在我的身上。” 从她的面容我可以看到她心中的痉挛。 或者她希望这是演着别人的剧，她的眼睛闪着幻想和不相信的光芒。 然而事实永远是痛苦的。
这件不幸的事情发生后，她告诉我一点关于华埠人士促请当局执行公义的消息，并且告诉我已经中途放弃了一科功课的事。 她又准备回国照顾受了打击而迫入医院的母亲和家中年少的弟弟。
这些都是血尸埋葬了之后的事情。 这些都比死本身还要残酷。 她现在渐渐走向宗教去寻求心田的安宁。 我但愿她的沈静是片刻的; 我但愿人性发掘的工作上不会失了一个未来的志士。
形式的安慰是徒然的，消极的人生是没有意义的。 人生来要是只为自己，生和不生都没有分别。生常常是从死处发出的。
血尸埋葬了之后，还有许多悲哀和痛苦的事情。 同时也能够使人产生一个更完善的人生观。
After the Bloody Corpse Is Buried
Nobody had ever considered death to be fearful; it is only dreadful when one is living in boredom and thinks of death. Death is not fearful but the manners of death will make people frightened. Meanwhile, death itself is not sad, and it is only sad or even painful when it brings about a sense of departure and separation.
We overseas Chinese were not born in a privileged environment, although we would not deny that our present living is more amiable and abundant than most fellow citizens in the motherland. Yet we are not God’s favored sons. When we were born in this land, God did not unconditionally bestow to us what others viewed as “paradise.” For over a hundred years, we have had an inhumane history of blood and tears. Most of us can write our life history grimmer than Hugo’s Les Miserables. But we are a silent bunch, we don’t lament our bitter lives, nor would we complain about our resentments to heaven. Our tears only flow inward. When others came to this virgin land to dig gold, we came to wash their dirty laundry.
Before the transitional era, every one of us overseas sojourners had hoped to save two or three thousand dollars in eight to ten years of hardwork and endurance, and would be able to return to the embrace of our motherland. So when we just ate a bigger piece of salted fish we would be considered as “luxuriating.” Therefore, we rolled up shredded tobacco, restrained sexual desire, slept in stacked up beds, and always wore that piece of clothing that seemed to be melting.
What we felt attached to in the past - home - is still far away in our motherland. We endure humiliation, suffer loneliness, and take great pain in growing up, getting old, and ending in death. All the money from which we exchange our youth is spent in the motherland. What is left for ourselves? We understand the meaning of a letter from home is no other than “requesting for man and requesting for money.”
This is the fate we are born into. We never become negligent due to our personal losses. No matter whether it is “requesting for man or requesting for money,” it is indeed a blessing as long as the family is safe and sound. But who would have thought of ourselves, being defenseless in our old flesh and blood, would be strangled to death by the hands of a brute. (See a report by Li Xiaowei in last week’s edition)
In this era death is just an ordinary matter. But unless we are willing to return to the barbaric life where the weak are the prey of the strong, then we cannot allow such a deed of murder to occur. The formation of a society is to guarantee the safety for all people. If we have committed to the care of the laws but we are being butchered and unable to resist, then what is the use of having laws?
A month ago in the busy Changxing Street of Guangzhou city, a brutal homicide occurred in broad daylight that left no clues of the case as of now. Meanwhile, the order of laws that are meant to uphold justice has not made any progress. Would this case be considered over after the bloody corpse is buried?
No, the murderer took away not only the life of an old woman. A few more events happened after the bloody corpse was buried and these events brought to those still living much sorrow and pain. In my view, the pain of those still living is thousands times more merciless than those dead.
The granddaughter of the victim is a friend of mine, although we have not yet become close friends, we did have a long talk one time. She gave me the impression of being vivacious, enthusiastic, and with a sense of responsibility, while embracing the ideal of helping others like when one was in school. Showing strong attachment for the motherland, she could become one who would sacrifice in the pursuit of happiness for humanity. The fondest subject we talked about is drama, as we both are a bit of “drama craze.”
I always have such a notion: I believe the lives of those who are fond of drama would be painful. The ones being blessed are detached from others’ sorrow. After the bloody murder, I remember very clearly what she said, “I never thought such a thing would happen to me.” I could see the convulsion in her heart from the expression on her face. Perhaps she hoped she was acting in other people’s drama as her eyes reflected signs of illusion and disbelief. However, reality is always painful.
After this unfortunate thing happened she told me the news regarding a Chinatown personage who had urged the authority to enforce public justice. She also mentioned she had dropped out of one class in school. She was also preparing to return to the motherland to care for her mother who was hospitalized after suffering the blow from the incident, and her younger brother at home.
These were the events after the bloody corpse was buried, and they were more cruel than death itself. Now she is gradually moving towards religion to search for a peace of mind. I hope her quietude is temporary. I hope the works of exploring human nature will not lose a person with lofty ideals in the future.
A customary console is one in vain, and a passive life is meaningless. If one is living only for oneself, then there is no difference in having lived or not having lived. Life often comes out from the place of death. After the bloody corpse is buried there are many sorrow and painful events. Meanwhile, it also creates a more complete perspective of life.